Al-truism

While I was working on Saturday I overheard two customers talking about altruism. It was the opinion of the man speaking that no human act is ever truly altruistic. And I tend to agree with him.

I'd like to think of myself as being somewhat altruistic, but isn't that in itself just me being egotistic? If we think we're doing a good deed, are we just in reality servicing the needs of ourselves?

My eavesdropping triggered me to think about random acts of kindness and the relinquishment of selfishness for the betterment of others. I thought about people who give up their organs and blood donors, and foster parents, and volunteers. And I thought about the things I do to ensure that I'm leading a magnanimous existence.

The other day I held a door open for a lady at the store. It made me feel good. Today on the streetcar I gave up my seat for an elderly gentleman. It made me feel good. When I left the Green Grind cafe this afternoon I took my empty cup up to the dirty dish container and thanked the girl behind the counter. It made me feel good.

Let me controvert a seemingly innocent commission of altruism to further explain my point. There's a big party at your friend's house and the next day it looks like Kandahar. Although you'd rather be at home in bed, you put up your hand to help clean up the mess. Domestic chores while nursing a hangover surely equates to altruism, right?

Wrong. You're doing it because your friend helped you move house a few weeks ago, or because you feel guilty about sleeping with his girlfriend, or because if you help clean up this one time you won't have to help with anything else for the rest of the year. In fact, your friend might consider your help so altruistic that he might feel the exact same pressure you did, and in turn, offer to help you landscape your garden or some shit like that. Or maybe you're just doing it because your motivation, like mine, is the buzz you get from just simply helping people.

I know it's discouraging to think that despite our best intentions, our ego is always there to steal the limelight. I want to believe altruism exists in its purest form, but it's hard when the world is so cynical.

So anyway, there you go, I've informed you of the dangers of your subconscious mind. I guess that's my good deed for the day.